Put the Fries in the Bag – The Alyssa Mercante Song
More Satirical Funsies in the Form of a Music Video
Well, it happened again – I got bored and a video got made.
This time, the spotlight’s on Alyssa Mercante – ex-Kotaku editor, professional victim, and now the star of my musical roast that nobody asked for (but I had way too much free time to make).
Video: Put the Fries in the Bag – The Alyssa Mercante Song | ReportAFK
Following up my songs about Hasan and Ludwig (embedded below), I figured it was only fair Alyssa got her own theme music too.
Edgy, satirical, and about as subtle as a drive-thru speaker at 2AM, this was pretty fun to make ngl.
Chorus TL;DR:
- Put the fries in the bag
- Moral of the story: Don’t start drama if you can’t handle the receipts.
If you like this kind of absolutely dumb and unhinged chaos, let me know – otherwise I’ll probably just keep making them until I get sued…pun intended?
Other Funderful Music Videos
Like a Pokémon, I’m trying to evolve.
With each and every video, I’m trying new things and hopefully getting a little better all all of this editing – so here’s my first two if you want to see how it’s going (PSA: the Ludwig song is fire imo):
Let's Up Those Numbers! - Ludwig Song
Video: Let’s Up Those Numbers! – Ode to Jellywig | ReportAFK
Communist in a Gucci Bag - Hasan Piker Song
Video: Communist with a Gucci Bag – Hasan Piker | ReportAFK
Anyways, I hope you like all these cringe videos! Sometimes it feels good to take a break from writing articles and maintaining the website – these help me wind down a little bit while doing something fun.
This was a commentary article based on publicly available information and personal opinion. Readers are encouraged to form their own conclusions based on the sources cited.
All images, logos, and video clips used in this article are the property of their respective owners. This content is used for the purposes of commentary, criticism, and news reporting under the guidelines of Fair Use (17 U.S.C. § 107). No copyright infringement is intended. If you are the copyright holder and believe your content has been used improperly, please contact us directly.
Want More?
Check These Out Next!
About Report AFK
A place for gamers, by gamers, untarnished by corporate gaming media and their nonstop attempts to elevate bad games while denouncing any developers brave enough to stand up to them.
Site Links
Copyright 2025 ReportAFK.com
Wtf
August 25, 2025
Ok ngl that shit slaps 🙃
Ayefkay
August 26, 2025
Lol thanks WTF I appreciate you stopping by and letting me know!
Jeeson
September 4, 2025
hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
Ayefkay
September 5, 2025
Hey Jason, thanks for dropping by and glad you liked it!