If you thought TwitchCon was a place to bask in the glow of your streaming fame, think again.
It’s more like a reality show where the contestants are creators, the challenges are safety hazards, and the grand prize is a viral clip of your meltdown. But hey, at least I made a song about it.
Watch The Con Rolls On – it’s the anthem of my collective cringe and disappointment at Twitch.
TwitchCon 2025 kicked off with a bang…and by “bang”, of course, I mean some guy grabbing Emiru and attempting an unsolicited kiss during her meet-and-greet.
Security? Obviously, not where they should have been.
Twitch’s response was a vague statement and a ban that came after the fact. Emiru was left shaken, and fans were left wondering if safety was ever on the agenda.
Bazinga. Apparently, TwitchCon’s security measures were as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Attendees bypassed checkpoints with ease, and staff were nowhere to be found when things went south.
Image: Taylor Lorenz Defends TwitchCon Security | @taylorlorenz | X.com
Besides reports from industry shill (and eternal Hasan gooner), Taylor Lorenz, of course. It’s almost like they were more interested in optics than actual safety.
Reports from attendees say that some VTubers arrived to find their fan gifts trashed by staff. Letters, plushies, and tokens of appreciation were discarded like yesterday’s memes.
It’s almost like Twitch was running a reverse charity event.
Twitch’s CEO, Dan Clancy, took the stage with some…dance moves(?) that could only be described as awkward, before proceeding to WWE drop a poor girl on her head. The clip went viral and so did the criticism.
Maybe stick to the day job, Dan. Because that’s not all!
In another viral clip, we have Dan The Man Clancy, quickly dodging out of frame during a video call while he was with a much younger woman.
Diabolical!
While some creators were facing physical threats, digital attacks were apparently lurking in the shadows as well.
Twitch streamer, Lulluluvely reported that the PC she used to stream from TwitchCon may have had a “hijacker” program installed – as she showed her hands off of her computer as her screen whirred to life, opening apps and putting web addresses into the browser.
While there’s no doubt in my mind that her computer was infected with malware based on the video, the real question is “how did it get there?”.
The recurring theme here is that, to me, it seems like TwitchCon’s focus was on the optics of safety over the actual outcomes.
From security failures to PR spin, the event showcased a company more interested in looking good than doing good.
It’s like a masterclass in how not to run a convention and that’s basically why I felt like they needed to get roasted – in the most musical way possible, of course.
Unless what you think is “damn, that song sucks”.
I’m just kidding, all criticism is welcome! I just make these satirical parody songs as a way of getting my opinions off my chest in a fun way, but I totally get that AI-generated music is not for everyone.
If I could play 3 instruments and record studio time to make a song instead…ok, I still probably wouldn’t – that would be a giant pain in the ass.
This was a commentary article based on publicly available information and personal opinion. Readers are encouraged to form their own conclusions based on the sources cited.
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Tagged as:
Music Streaming Theme Songs Twitch TwitchCon
About the author call_made
Hi, I'm the founder and editor-in-chief of Report AFK, a gaming and anime site built for people who are tired of sanitized mainstream media coverage and toothless hot takes. I want to bring both the technical know-how and battle-tested gamer instincts to every article here. Whether I'm deep-diving into ARAM strats, roasting a broken patch, or side-eyeing the latest "diverse" but soulless AAA release, I write with one goal in mind: cut the fluff and tell it how it is. I've worked in digital marketing and spoke in conferences nationwide, but my heart’s always been in the trenches of gaming - whether that’s grinding ladders, theorycrafting late at night, or binge-watching the 38th questionable isekai this season. Follow my rants, insights, and updates on ReportAFK.com and let me know what you think in the comments - I read (and usually respond to) every. single. one.
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Twitchy
October 23, 2025
Haha WTF?!
Ayefkay
October 23, 2025
Lol hey Twitchy, thanks for stopping by and hopefully that’s a good “WTF”, eh?