Game Over, Kotaku: Sold Off and Sent to the Swiss Dungeon
Kotaku’s Funeral: Sponsored by Keleops and Woke Fatigue
Well folks, it finally happened. Kotaku, once upon a time a halfway-decent gaming site and now a walking Twitter thread of regret, has been sold off by G/O Media to *checks notes* a random Swiss media group named Keleops.
Sounds like a Final Fantasy boss or maybe a new pharmaceutical that treats online addiction with ironic detachment and funsies?
Image: Emerald Keleops lol | Final Fantasy 7 | Square Enix | ReportAFK
The sale is being spun as a positive by a few former staffers who apparently think giving a legacy brand CPR in a European basement is a win.
But let’s be real: this was a mercy kill. G/O Media didn’t pass on Kotaku as some holy torch…they chucked it into a ravine and hoped nobody noticed the smoke.
The Long, Slow, Extremely Public Crash of Kotaku
Kotaku hasn’t exactly been in its prime lately.
Wait, scratch that – it’s actually been in freefall with all the grace of a drunk Mii avatar falling down the Wii Fit stairs. Between ragebait headlines and ideological rabbit holes, the site became less about games and more about gaslighting anyone who accidently stumbled into their den of propaganda.
Need a refresher? Here’s one for the scrapbook: “We Are Now Entering The ‘Animal Crossing Buttplug’ Stage Of 2020.” Yup. That was real. That headline wasn’t satire. That’s not a parody. That’s a thing they actually published (and yes, the article’s still up). Go ahead…I’ll wait.
This brand of “journalism” wasn’t just tone-deaf. It was the canary in the coal mine, screaming in Morse code: “Help me. I am trapped inside a left-leaning content mill powered by bad takes and nose rings.”
Enter: Alyssa “I Resigned But Also You Got Me Fired” Mercante
Now if we’re talking about legacy-denting decisions, few are as meme-worthy as the Alyssa Mercante saga.
At the start of GamerGate 2.0 (which she helped ignite like someone testing flares during wildfire season), she published an article praising Sweet Baby Inc. – a super woke narrative consultancy seen by many online of injecting heavy-handed ideology into games under the guise of “diversity.”
Her piece?
A fluffy glaze job, “Sweet Baby Inc. Doesn’t Do What Some Gamers Think It Does” whose headline technically wasn’t a lie…because they actually do a lot worse than what gamers thought they did at the time, as reported by Gothic Therapy in the video below:
And then, the plot thickened *cues ominous thunderclaps*.
She claimed she resigned from Kotaku, until a lawsuit she filed against YouTuber SmashJT revealed she’s actually blaming him for getting her fired. So which is it? Because it’s really hard to throw stones from a glass house (especially when that house is actively on fire).
I got the full, ridiculously long timeline if you want the juicy receipts.
Deadspin: The Sister Site That Made Kotaku Look Tame Somehow
Let’s not forget Kotaku’s cousin in clownery, Deadspin. In a move that should be studied in PR disaster college, they published a now-infamous piece about a young Kansas City Chiefs fan…accusing the literal child of being racist for wearing black-and-red face paint and a headdress at a game.
…found a way to hate black people and the Native American at the same time.
– Carron J. Phillips, Deadspin
The kicker? They only showed one side of his face in the article photo…guess which one.
Boom! Lawsuit. A big one. Deadspin tried to get it tossed, and the judge said: “Nope.” So now they’re in court, and honestly, I truly hope that kid’s college fund ends up sponsored by Carron J. Phillips.
Activist Gaming Media: The Great Vanishing Act
Now let’s zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Kotaku isn’t just a fluke, it’s part of a larger pattern. Polygon got gutted and zombified. PC Gamer reportedly lost about 75% of its traffic over the last year. And Giant Bomb? After the staff bought the site from Fandom in May, their traffic nosedived by an estimated 34% from 295k monthly visits to 194k.
That’s not just a decline – that’s an “it was at this time, they knew the f**ked up” moment.
It’s almost like gamers are tired of being treated like Redditors who need to be lectured instead of entertained. Crazy, right?
The era of corporate-approved, activist-infused, woke gaming content is getting flushed harder than a straight, white, male protagonist at an Ubisoft pitch meeting.
Amen.
Meanwhile, the Gaming Industry Is Booming Without Them
Let’s be clear: gaming itself isn’t dying. Not even close. The global gaming market is expected to hit up to $733 billion by 2030. But that train’s leaving without sites like Kotaku onboard.
Gamers aren’t getting their news from these legacy outlets anymore. They’re going to YouTubers who actually play games, TikTok creators who make funny skits, and independent sites that don’t try to turn every review into a cultural thesis paper about gender-fluid power dynamics in Super Mario Odyssey.
In short: gaming is fine. The parasites are just losing their host.
The “Sale” That Feels More Like a Refund
So now Kotaku belongs to Keleops – a company with no real skin in the game other than snapping up dying brands on discount. Will they revive Kotaku? Who knows. Will gamers care? Probably not.
If I had to guess, this “relaunch” will go the way of most media rebrands: a new logo, some generic AI-generated headlines, and a few very confused interns wondering why no one’s reading their Alan Wake 2 strategy guide.
Followed by the extremely emotional announcement of dissolution within the year…which, of course, will be also followed by Alyssa Mercante saying that’s exactly what they wanted and then blame it on SmashJT at the same time.
Because, apparently, that’s just the natural progression of life these days.
Final Boss: Get Woke, Get Sold?
In my opinion, Kotaku’s downfall is less of a tragedy and more of a case study on “How to Burn a Publication to the Ground in 10 Easy Steps or Less”.
When a gaming site forgets what gamers actually want – fun, honest coverage, actual guides, spicy takes that don’t come with a side of divisive ideology – they lose the community. And once that’s gone, no Swiss savior can patch it up.
Game over, Kotaku. Please uninstall.
This was a commentary article based on publicly available information and personal opinion. Readers are encouraged to form their own conclusions based on the sources cited.
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Chef Andy
July 3, 2025
Bro cooked
Ayefkay
July 3, 2025
Hey Chef Andy! I appreciate the kind words, BUT I take offense to just ASSUMING I’m a “bro”!
I identify as a meat popsicle.
Lol, thanks again and make sure to come back!
JUST MY OPINION
July 3, 2025
Lololol k Ive seen a few of your articles on here. Not Bad but not lifechanging sorry. but the pictures you made for this one are 12/10 cracked out funny. Whatever you were snifing you should keep that energy going
Ayefkay
July 3, 2025
Haha sorry, I’ll keep pushing for life changing and make sure to bring the same vibes in the future. I think I was sniffing copious amounts of coffee along with grilling up some wings, so yea, I was probably in a good mood while writing.
But then again – who wouldn’t be when you hear Kotaku’s getting turned into a Swiss Army Knife?!
Thanks again and I hope you come back soon!